Showing posts with label sane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sane. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

You Can’t Draw Your Knees up to Your Chest With Duct Tape Around Your Ankles

If you’re a sane human being (i.e., not a writer), you probably had one of two reactions after reading that title:

1.       What the heck is she talking about?
2.       How in the world does she know that?

But here’s the thing… In order to get a real answer to either of those questions, you probably have to ask an insane human being (i.e., a writer). Your only other option is to find an actual kidnapping victim.

So yes, I’ll admit I duct taped my ankles together while I was writing “The Politician’s Pawn.” I would have duct taped my wrists too, but I found that was physically impossible no matter how many ways I tried to work it out.

Oh, the struggles we writers have to go through for our art.

That’s the thing though… I was writing about someone being kidnapped and tied up, two experiences I had no understanding of. And while I wasn’t about to go out looking for someone to kidnap me (this little writer isn’t THAT insane), I could at least partially solve the problem of the duct tape without causing myself any serious harm.

So I went for it. So what?

Honestly, I don’t understand why people look at me like I’m crazy when I admit this. It’s not even close to the dumbest thing I did while researching these stories. In fact, it’s downright tame compared to what I wanted to try out for Books 2 and 3 (more about that later).

Moreover, because I duct taped my ankles, I learned something very valuable… If you’re sitting on a couch – or presumably a Suburban seat – with duct taped ankles, you can’t draw your legs up to your chest. Can you imagine how embarrassingly inaccurate it would have been if I hadn’t sought out the truth for myself and written otherwise!

I know I’d rather not.

So really then, what I’m trying to say is you’re welcome.

Editor’s note: When I told my brother-in-law this, he immediately went about proving me wrong. But he’s six-foot. And Kayla is five-foot five-inches, which is a lot closer to my height than his. In addition, if anyone watches Castle, let me assure you that I duct taped myself well before he did. He copied me. Or at least he would have had to if he or the show’s writers knew I existed.