Getting Set on Fire and Eaten by a Dragon Sounds… Appealing?

Two weeks ago, I ranted against Marvel’s Agents of Shield. Today, I’m taking on an even more popular show, Game of Thrones.

Dun. Dun. Dun. Dun…!

 Actually, that’s not quite accurate. I could discuss the show, which I have a definite opinion of, but why bother? Those of you who love it are going to love it regardless, and those of you who find it a lame, unimaginative, misogynistic waste of time will doubtlessly continue doing so too.

I’ll let you guess what camp I fall into.

What I’ll be much more blunt about is what I think about writers. Which, I guess I’ve already addressed, come to think of it. In ranting against Agents of Shield, I believe my exact description was they were “equivalent to sociopaths” and “totally high on their own art.”

But I forgot to add my reaction after reading a recap of Game of Thrones back in May. So let me backtrack and add that they’re dumb as dirt too. Like really, exceptionally, unbelievably stupid.

I’m not even talking about the show’s writers. I don’t watch the show. I’ve never so much as taken in a whole episode, just a smattering of clips. But for some odd reason, I find myself drawn to the recaps that Yahoo posts, which is why I got to read one particular writer’s death-wish list.

This was after the apparently epic episode, “Kill the Boy,” where some guy got set on fire by dragons and then eaten alive. Sounds like a rotten way to die, right?

Duh! Unless you’re a moron writer with way too much time stuck in unreality. That’s the only reason to write the following after watching someone flailing around, screaming in horrific pain:

“Morbid but appropriate question: How do you want to die? Your first choice is probably something along the lines of, “In my sleep, of old age, surrounded by four hundred smiling grandchildren,” but come on. What’s fun about that? Literally billions of people have passed away under those circumstances! We should all hope and pray for an interesting death that’ll keep people talking long after the memories of our actual accomplishments have faded. “I’ll never forget Bill Wilson and how he crashed his catamaran into a garbage island.” Or “Not a day goes by I don’t think of Linda Schwartzman getting attacked by those coyotes in the Macy’s parking lot.” These are the ways we should hope people talk about us when we’re dead. So when you see an overly ridiculous or violent death on TV, don’t be shocked. Be jealous.

“This week’s episode of Game of Thrones featured one of its most ludicrous and amazing kills in its entire run. Yes, I’m talking about the guy who was both set on fire and then torn apart by dragons. We all cringed and perhaps even clapped when it happened but part of me was like, “Damn. That’s how I want to go.” You know? It’s the main reason I hope cloning becomes a real thing someday… It would make the possibility of me getting eaten by a dinosaur that much more real. Fingers-crossed!”

Here’s the thing… I’m sure (or maybe I just really hope) the writer is partially kidding. But I’m even more positive that he’s partially not.

Which makes him about as stupid as they come.

As for this little writer? She’ll take the boring death with her four hundred smiling grandchildren around her, thank you very much.