President Obama Isn’t a Reptilian but Faeries Do Exist

Did you know President Barack Obama is an alien intent on subjugating the human race?

 

If you’re a liberal, hold the hate comments… Because so is former President George W. Bush. And British Prime Minister David Cameron. And Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie.

Actually, the same can be said of most powerful people throughout the ages, be they politicians or entertainers.

Think I’m insane yet? Well, I’m not. I’m just repeating what actual crazy people believe.

Crazy people like David Icke, a conspiracy theorist who says the planet is controlled by “reptilians,” shape-shifting aliens bent on global domination.

Oh yeah, and they like to drink our blood.

I learned about this from an ex (not the British one), who liked researching conspiracy theories. When he told me about reptilians, I thought it was hysterically entertaining to the point where I probably went a little overboard learning more.

My love affair with such ridiculousness ended abruptly after I discovered that David Icke based it all on a supposed vision he had. Greatly disappointed with what I deemed a total lack of imagination, I dropped the subject altogether.

Until I got 144 pages into Farietales Book #4 (which still doesn’t have a name).

No, Sabrina and her fellow faeries don’t co-exist with reptilians. Nor do they believe in them. I came up with a much cleverer, more logical and – dare I say – amusing way of incorporating the supposedly scaly, sinister aliens. And I grinned the whole entire way through.

I’m smirking right now just thinking about it. With the hope that you smirk too, here’s a snippet from the rough draft. I’m really hoping it makes the final cut…

(My most sincere thanks to my ex for providing me with such entertaining fodder!)

Five HPAC employees and two Scottish faeries were dead after the joint raid they’d conducted on Katharine’s house. So were twelve perpetrators. The firefight had been intense enough to alert the authorities upstairs, yet brief enough to maintain the anonymity of everyone involved. The only thing the cops found when they arrived was a fight scene with no fighters anywhere. Kenneth and Sabrina’s forces, along with the HPAC team, had extracted everyone, even the corpses.

International tabloids were already running their takes on what had happened, and conspiracy theories were running wild, though none of them mentioned faeries.

Alien abductions were high on the list. British conspiracy theorist David Icke’s group was going nuts about it. Those people had long-since claimed that reptilians – also known as reptoids, reptiloids, saurians or draconians – were out there X-files style. Though the aliens in question were significantly larger than the average human in their real forms, they were also shape-shifters, capable of looking like whatever average man or woman they wanted to.

Except, with that kind of power, who would want to be average? Certainly not the reptilians, who had a long history of messing with earthling governments. Strangely both political and apolitical at the same time, David Icke managed to both delight and irritate almost every political group ever. Because according to him and his followers, George W. Bush was an evil alien. As was Barack Obama. The same went for the UK’s Tony Blair and David Cameron, Germany’s Angela Merkel and the highest factions of Hollywood. Just about anyone with any iota of power throughout the ages was an extraterrestrial with a taste for human flesh.

Sabrina had learned about the group years ago thanks to a former boyfriend with an enormous IQ and matching nerd proclivities that had him reading anything and everything sci-fi related. It seemed to be her type, she supposed, which was working to her advantage now.

Justin Hills hadn’t actually believed in reptilians; he just liked researching them and other conspiracy theories. Since she’d found them fascinating as well, she’d listened with delight to his explanations about the cult, doing her own investigations on the side. As a result, she found the tabloid material exceptionally diverting.

Being a former newscaster himself, David Icke knew how to milk attention from any story presented to him. So he claimed to have video footage of reptilians sneaking away from the premises, holding onto limp human bodies. As expected, the documentation wasn’t high-quality, but the conclusion was solid nonetheless: The victims were headed for the dinner table.