Wednesday, May 6, 2015

You Can’t Draw Your Knees up to Your Chest With Duct Tape Around Your Ankles

If you’re a sane human being (i.e., not a writer), you probably had one of two reactions after reading that title:

1.       What the heck is she talking about?
2.       How in the world does she know that?

But here’s the thing… In order to get a real answer to either of those questions, you probably have to ask an insane human being (i.e., a writer). Your only other option is to find an actual kidnapping victim.

So yes, I’ll admit I duct taped my ankles together while I was writing “The Politician’s Pawn.” I would have duct taped my wrists too, but I found that was physically impossible no matter how many ways I tried to work it out.

Oh, the struggles we writers have to go through for our art.

That’s the thing though… I was writing about someone being kidnapped and tied up, two experiences I had no understanding of. And while I wasn’t about to go out looking for someone to kidnap me (this little writer isn’t THAT insane), I could at least partially solve the problem of the duct tape without causing myself any serious harm.

So I went for it. So what?

Honestly, I don’t understand why people look at me like I’m crazy when I admit this. It’s not even close to the dumbest thing I did while researching these stories. In fact, it’s downright tame compared to what I wanted to try out for Books 2 and 3 (more about that later).

Moreover, because I duct taped my ankles, I learned something very valuable… If you’re sitting on a couch – or presumably a Suburban seat – with duct taped ankles, you can’t draw your legs up to your chest. Can you imagine how embarrassingly inaccurate it would have been if I hadn’t sought out the truth for myself and written otherwise!

I know I’d rather not.

So really then, what I’m trying to say is you’re welcome.

Editor’s note: When I told my brother-in-law this, he immediately went about proving me wrong. But he’s six-foot. And Kayla is five-foot five-inches, which is a lot closer to my height than his. In addition, if anyone watches Castle, let me assure you that I duct taped myself well before he did. He copied me. Or at least he would have had to if he or the show’s writers knew I existed.


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